I'm not sure I am myself really. I know the schools and colleges have finished now which can cause a little disruption again for autistic young people. My youngest really doesn't settle with the holidays, he would attend college all year round if it was up to him. He prefers the structure and the routine of his college days and feels a bit lost over the holidays.
My eldest has absorbed the Christmas TV guide already and now knows when all the Disney films are on. He will tell me every day what is on which is really handy (if it's Disney you want to watch). We have to walk every day as well in the holidays which I love because I need the exercise after eating too many chocolates. I suggested a walk tomorrow and looked at the weather forecast only to see rain. I put this to Mr T and he said ' well we have our coats Babs'. That's my nickname for those who may have missed it before. I quite like the rest from the normal routine a little bit, I do still find it a bit unsettling and think I need to be really lazy when in fact I find that really hard to do. I also get enthused at first about having a lie in in the mornings only to wake at the same time as I usually would and then have to get up and do stuff. I have realised that I am really rubbish at sitting still. I know!! I thought I was good at it but it seems not. My mind races and I have to do the things that are going around in my brain, it's like I can't switch off. Maybe I do need my routine more than I thought. Christmas has changed a lot really as my boys are now older and the magic has disappeared slightly. It feels a bit weird and as though I'm not really caring too much for it all this year but I think it's just a shift in the way life is at the moment and how it changes. It takes time for us to process change and I think that's my problem this year. For so many years it has been a time toys and tons of presents, but now it's money and vouchers and not too much excitement about whether Santa will be here. I don't care, I'm still putting out my treats for Santa on Christmas Eve because that's what we've always done. I do hope your Christmas goes ok and without to much stress. Some families do have a tough time so please take it steady. The National Autistic have a list of tips to prepare for Christmas here: www.autism.org.uk/about/family-life/holidays-trips/christmas.aspx I found some of those tips quite good. They did make me realise, especially the ones for autistic adults on how we need to prepare for budgeting and shopping. It is the prime time when our bank accounts tend to get the most abuse and also for me personally I cannot go shopping when it's really busy at Christmas. I find I do a lot of shopping online now and find it so much easier. People from Amazon just drop things off at the door, and usually next day......now thats great for me!! I am going to take this opportunity to wish you all a Merry Christmas and I will be back tomorrow for a bit of telly talk with Pass the Remote Sunday but for now you all take care.
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Following on from last week I thought I would just conclude the pasta saga. Well I got another message to say that Mr T would be tackling the pasta again this week. I said 'what?' but lovely cooking teacher you promised us chocolate cake this week. I was pleading for the cake as I wasn't loving the prospect of putting it to Mr T that it was pasta again especially after the last meltdown and refusal to cook.
The refusal to cook last time though meant he had to. try and finish off the pasta so we could tick it off and be done. I ventured into the unknown (Mr T's bedroom) and had a team talk, the way us parents do with our autistic kids. Nice and calm, ease into the conversation gently then any sign of meltdown withdraw immediately and not bother, then retract to living room with a brew to calm the nerves.....sound familiar? Well team talk went well and he said he would try his best with the pasta as cool as anything so I retreated in shock, thinking this was going far too well. I went with it and sent the ingredients in with him and as sure as anything he came out of college with a nice tub of pasta salad. Yes my fellow Autistic brewsters, we have completed operation pasta and now we could move onto to chocolate cake. Yes!! (punches air), never been so pleased to see a finished pasta salad and a happy boy. This week he got to bake a chocolate cake and he baked with gluten free flour so I could eat it (that was my idea). Mr T made the most gorgeous gluten free chocolate cake I have ever seen and tasted. I have been trying for ages to bake a decent sponge and he just comes home with this masterpiece. I couldn't stop raving about it and he started to look a bit smug. So he should, so proud of him for tackling everything again and allowing me to eat chocolate cake. So it just goes to show that if something in our autistic minds is not going well and causing anxiety it may be that we need to shelve whatever it is and leave it for a while then come back to it. This may not always be possible for some people. I know I find things difficult to do one minute but then have to rethink a different way or just give it time and try again. We have to find that different way of processing things to ease the anxiety, allowing that precious time, how ever long it takes to allow us to cope. A happy Mr T after all and I do have to say I did go to parents evening at his college and he is doing so well. I'm so proud of him, we celebrated by eating a little cake, just a little bit (honest). Thank you for reading, I just thought after the anxiety we faced last week I needed to tell you that it all came right in the end. I will be back tomorrow with Pass the Remote Sunday but for now you all take care. My son Mr T has been having a love hate thing with cheese pasta for the past few weeks. He is doing some catering at college as part of his course into independent living and getting on well with it all but we hit a road block which ended in a emergency stop this week.
The first week he attempted making cheese sauce he said that he had turned his butter into caramel while attempting a roux sauce. Nothing wrong with caramel with my pasta I thought, could be a new thing here. I love pasta and I love caramel, what you worrying about Mr T? Well he wasn't happy after that lesson, had to clean the pans - tough day that was. Attempt two seem to go well and he came out of college with a lovely tub of cheese pasta, hurrah I thought. Why in the bad mood though Mr T, you've done it? Well he got in the car with said tub of pasta, a sandwich, crisps and a drink. Now just to explain he has lunch at college on a Monday, Tuesday and Friday and this was a Wednesday. Well they had given him a lunch by mistake at college and it sent him into a flutter. He would not speak to me or Mum and Dad from the Brew who were in the car too as we were all going out for lunch. It wasn't until we hid it all away that he could carry on with his day. 'Those silly people have given me a lunch and I don't have a lunch today from there' he said. He could just not cope at all with that but was fine when we took it away and hid it all. He then had lunch with us and everything was fine. But then he had to make cheese pasta again and was so wound up about it he didn't tell me he needed the ingredients to take in to college until 10pm the previous evening. I struck up a deal with the tutor and he came home with another tub of pasta, all fine. Get this though, he had to do it again the next week!! Now I had a parents evening to go to so this gave me a chance to find out why we were having to overdose on cheese pasta. Apparently he just needs to be assessed on the boiling part. Mr T had said he was bored with cheese pasta and wanted to cook something more exciting (cannot blame him, even I was bored with cheese pasta). We suggested he made a pasta salad, take away the cheese sauce and highlight the fact that when he has done this it's chocolate cake next week!! Woo hoo. So I waited in anticipation to see what would become of Wednesday's practical.....would we get pasta again?..............(I so want to put 'to be continued' here)...................but.......................NO we didn't get any pasta and I don't think Mr T will want to cook pasta for a long time yet. He flatly refused, got in a mood and had to do something else. I kind of admire his autism sometimes because he will just say no but I do feel for him as he tends to bottle all his feelings up and then explode. He isn't the greatest communicator unless it's a conversation about the facts about Disney, Thomas and Friends or Star Wars so we don't get far on general conversations. I do encourage him to tell me about his days at college and sometimes I get a little of what he has been doing but sometimes he'll say 'oh I don't know' when I ask and there is no pushing it any further. I don't like to see him anxious so the pasta saga will have to be put on hold for now and return to it with lightsaber in hand ready to tackle an army of stormtroopers. I can't wait for that.. In fact Mr T would make mountains of pasta in that scenario. It's tough being autistic sometimes as processing the information required by other people and understanding why we have to keep cooking cheese pasta is difficult for some. For some people it's a case of understating that there is further assessment needed in a educational setting but for him especially, he has cooked it once why would he need to do it again? I have explained believe me but no, he's done with the old pasta. I'll keep you posted on this one but thank you for reading, I will be back tomorrow with Pass the Remote but for now.......... You take care and don't mention the pasta! This week we had our last two support groups of this year at the National Autistic Society Derby & District Branch. I can't actually believe we are coming to the end of another year. It was lovely to see people and have some full on discussions.
We make November our last dates as our groups are held in a couple of schools so December gets so busy for them. There are lots of events that take place that naturally parents want to attend so we always give December a rest. We will all be back in January ready for a cuppa and some chat about the Christmas holiday. It is stressful for some as routines get messed around a bit and there is quite a bit going on over the holidays at this time of year. I do feel that the support groups are a great place to get advice, share ideas or to just generally get things off ones chest. We all have times when things either get to us a bit or we don't know what to do in a certain situation, it can be stressful and upsetting so sitting and chatting can have a massive effect, believe me. Please don't ever struggle and think you can't talk in front of anyone about your problems, we can sort out a moment to speak to anyone individually at our groups, in private so please don't be put off. You wouldn't believe the amount of friendships that have been created through attending groups. People sometimes tend to meet up, realise they have children at the same school or have a lot in common and then go and meet regularly at other times or do activities together. You need never feel alone. If you are struggling to find a local group then go to the NAS website and search the Autism Services Directory, you can use this link: www.autism.org.uk/directory.aspx Here you will be able to search for services you require in any part of the country. So give it a try. It is worth it. I come away from our groups learning more and feeling quite strong, as though I can cope and I run the groups so I'm always learning from others too. The thing is I can then go and pass useful information onto other people in other groups and that's how it works. We will be back in January as I say and if you would like more information about the Derby Branch of the NAS then go to our Facebook page here: www.facebook.com/NASDerbyBranch/ I would just like to thank everyone at our groups for coming along and take this opportunity to wish you all a Merry Christmas - see you in 2019 for more chat and of course, a brew or two. Thank you for reading today. Join me again tomorrow for Pass the Remote but for now take care. I"m a big fan of Anne Hegerty. I do love her as The Governess in ITV's The Chase where she is the quiz master maestro. She has my upmost respect at the moment though in I'm A Celebrity Get me Out Of Here.
If you have been following the programme so far or you know a little about Anne, she is autistic and is becoming a great advocate for autism. It's so good to see her talking openly about her autism and generally raising awareness. She mentions how she received her diagnosis later on in life and how autism effects her. We are all getting an insight into her personality and life which is great to see. This can only be a good thing surely, to open up what life is like as autistic person and it's so good to see her receiving, not only support from the camp but from the public watching the show too. I know she has struggled a bit with some of the trials so far but she's done so well to even attempt them, that's a huge deal for her. I hope people carry on supporting Anne, she is ruled out of a few trials because of medical reasons but I hope this doesn't go against her. I feel the presenters are already highlighting this quite a bit which I'm feeling a bit worried about. It looks as though Anne is ruled out of any trials to do with water or heights so they are probably her worst fears which I totally understand. Blimey I couldn't do any of these challenges or spend a night out in the jungle so fair play to her and all of the celebs taking part. I would be ruled out of everything, even more than Anne, in fact I'd be screaming 'get me out here' all the time. I'm not a celebrity so it probably wouldn't happen. ITV have never done a 'Joe public' series have they? Not sure it would work as well but lets not give them any ideas eh? I honestly don't think anyone would go in, it's probably the huge pay cheques that are a bit of a incentive for these celebrities. I am enjoying this series though, a good mix of people and they are still being really nice to each other. I hope Anne stays in as long as possible and gets to share more of her experiences as being an autistic adult. I'm loving that's she's keeping everyone entertained with her mountain of facts, she is amazing with the amount of stuff she knows. I am totally in awe of her. Keep going Anne!! Good luck and although I want her to stay in the jungle I feel she can't wait to get back to her organised chaos at home, in her own space. The National Autistic Society have a great feature about Anne Hegerty on their website which includes an interview with her and more information about autism if you should want to know more. www.autism.org.uk/get-involved/media-centre/news/2018-11-20-the-chase-is-on-anne-hegerty.aspx Thank you for reading today, join me again tomorrow for Pass the Remote but for now........ Take care. I received my Christmas cards today from the National Autistic Society so I'm all ready now....and I think I've chosen some nice cute designs for my family and friends this year. The snowman ones are actually for Mum from the Brew so she's sorted too.
I always have a word with myself and wonder whether I am going to do that 'oh I'm not sending cards the year but giving a donation to charity' thing that people do but sorry that's rubbish. It's nice to give and to receive a card around Christmas, it allows people to know you are thinking of them and in this digital age when all people do is text and email it's just nice to still receive something written. This way you can do both so there's no excuse, you can send a card and give to charity. It doesn't have to be this charity although I would love you to order the NAS cards, you can choose your favourite charity and give something as well as putting a smile on the face of someone you know. You can order a great selection of cards from the National Autistic Society website here www.autism.org.uk/shop/nas-merchandise/christmas-cards.aspx There really are some fantastic designs even 'Frosty' designed by Toby, aged 8, winner of the annual Christmas card design competition in the children's category and 'Santa's Reindeer' designed by Jemma, winner in the adult’s category. They arrive quite quick too as I only ordered these on Tuesday and they arrived today but get your order in as I'm sure the closer to Christmas we get, the busier they may get at the NAS, and lets be honest it's not long now..... So get ordering!! Thank you so much for reading today, I will be back tomorrow for Pass the Remote so join me then but for now......... Take care. We had another really good meeting this week at the Derby branch of the National Autistic Society. Rob, one of our branch members provided a talk on employment. It was so refreshing to hear from someone who is autistic themselves speak about his experiences.
I could of honestly listened to him for hours and hours and I think a lot of people in the room felt the same. Rob highlighted issues such as the work environment and making minor adjustments to help someone who may experience sensory overload. This could be a change in lightbulbs or making use of natural light from a window and allowing the use of headphones or earplugs to cut out some of the loud noises associated with a busy workplace. Rob also mentioned the importance of routines, travelling within certain employment and the task of having to be sociable. I loved hearing about how he tackled a balance of social interaction, enough to want to be asked to say, go to the pub but also being allowed the choice and not being pressured to take part in after work activities if he didn't want to. The evening certainly raised a lot of points that I suppose some people don't think of. There are so many slight adjustments that can be made for someone who is autistic and wow if I was an employer I'd say use the many qualities of autism as an advantage. Autistic people tend to think outside the box, have great knowledge especially with certain special interests and can achieve great things so it is important we help employers understand this and allow progression in the workplace. It depends on the environment and type of work, people all have different abilities whether they are autistic or not. Rob didn't completely sugar coat everything of course there are advantages and disadvantages, good experiences and bad and it was good to share it all with us. I think at the end of the evening most people went away with a sense of positivity, in fact I don't think I've never seen so many smiley faces and people leaving with a spring in their step as though everything could be ok. There was a mix of people who came along to see Rob speak, some were parents, some were autistic themselves and we did have a couple of employers in the room too so I think everyone got advice for their particular interest which was so reassuring. I can relate to how some of these people felt being a parent of an autistic adult myself and someone who suspects they are on the spectrum themselves. There is a lot to hope for within employment and progress is being made for anyone who may need help to access work. I still think we still need to help employers and other employees understand more about autism but it's happening. Maybe we can do more to offer companies more awareness schemes that make working environments more autism friendly. I know it would really help and it would take away a lot of anxiety for autistic people who really do want to work. It is really just an understanding from employers, a willing to adapt and make certain provisions for a positive future. It isn't about changing that autistic person it is about allowing that person to be autistic and be able to work too. I would like to thank Rob for coming along to the branch as it was such a positive experience and I think I can speak for all that came along too. If you would like to know more about Rob he has a website at www.an-autistics-view.co.uk and he is also on Twitter: Rob@RobRubix so look him up as he writes some great blogs. Thank you for reading today, please pop back tomorrow for Pass the Remote but for now...... Take care. So this happened this week, yes there were lots of lovely people meeting to give talks and share information regarding Women, Girls and Autism. So many interesting speakers I was a bit overwhelmed and wished I really could have been there. I find it difficult to go to events like this especially midweek as I have commitments at home but I would definitely try and make it if I can sort something in the future.
The great thing about social media is that I felt I could join in which was brilliant. By using the hashtag #AutismWomen on Twitter I could follow a lot of what was going on. Obviously I couldn't home in on all the details but it was so good to be able to hear comments and statements taken from some of the speakers and those who attended. The conference was held to get insights into diagnosis from those who are autistic themselves and also teaching methods for those in education along with the support available too. I felt really empowered by all these people and even by being there on Twitter I felt it was a place that did feel very familiar and I appreciated being a part of it even in this small way. It was so interesting and even the preparations and organisation to the venue itself with seating was nice to see. Everything seemed well thought out and I presume if there was feedback or ways to improve anything the people at The National Autistic Society will sort it for the future. Well done to everyone involved and thank you to those people who did tweet as it really helped to grab some information. I guess they would have great brewing facilities as well so there is no excuse why I should not get myself to one of these conferences soon. For now though please keep the info coming through on social media. I am tuning into various blogs and vlogs to learn more about the event, what a great network we have to help each. I'm feeling the love here. So if you do find it difficult to access any event look at whether the event organisers are putting info out there as you can tune in in some way. Take a look at #AutismWomen if you are on Twitter and have a catch up. Let me know what you thought if you did attend the event I'd love to know your views. For now though you take care and I will be back tomorrow for Pass the Remote Sunday.... Bye for now. Mr T went on the move today as he swapped rooms with his brother. We've been working up to this for a few weeks as at first he wasn't too keen. You see he had the slightly larger room and it was only fair that after a few years now they should take it in turns to have the big room.
He had to downsize quite a bit and get rid of a lot of toys which to be fair he wasn't using a lot of them anyway so it was a good chance to have a clear out. He knew what he wanted to keep and what to let go of but if you asked him if he was ready to move he would tut and shrug. I felt really bad because he was used to his room and had everything where he wanted it so I really thought it may not be the right decision. We took time to prepare him and we talked about it and he was for it but you could tell there were reservations but today we went for it. He would pop up and have a look at how everything was going then go away from it but then when we moved all his things into his new room he could see that it was going to be just as it was but with just a little less space. Well he came up to me and said 'Babs (my nickname) you were right, it is good to take it in turns with our rooms'. I then felt ok about it all and he was going to be happy. His room actually looks better, it's snug but he likes it and that's all that matters. I think initially he couldn't imagine what it was going to look like and how it was going to go but when he saw that he would still be able to have his computer and his tv and all his things around him he was quite relieved. I think it had helped that we didn't rush it either. I was ready to draw a plan if needed but we just kept talking about it gradually until he got his head around it. He is now asleep in bed and all is quiet, in fact more settled and quiet than usual. Could be early days but it may have been the best thing to do. His brother is happy too having more room, he had his very first migraine and christened the new room with a bit of sickness (caught in the sick bowl phew!). So it's been a bit of a busy day, a lot of change but hey we got through and I'm proud of my boys, the way they have come together and respected each other, helped to make each other feel good and happy about their new spaces. Me, well I'm off to bed as I now have to start sorting some old toys out. I'm going to be busy sorting for charity and a bit of ebaying, a perfect job for half term. Thank you for reading today, please join me again tomorrow for a chat about the tv on Pass the Remote Sunday but for now........ take care. For the past two years my son has had a taxi to take him to college which has been very useful and needed at the time. We were very lucky to have one awarded as not everyone is able to get one at Post 16 stage and also with so many council cut these days. Mainly because of that reason and others too I took over the college run and I have to say it's one of the most entertaining parts of my day.
My son is unable to manage two buses to college and some say I should have still tried to claim the taxi again but I felt the need to do this myself this time. He isn't the easiest of passengers sometimes and maybe with he amount of stimming and flapping some may think it may be best that he sits in the back but I wouldn't get the same interaction then. Obviously if it was unsafe I would suggest he sat in the back of the car but I love our conversation. By conversation or communication I don't mean chit chat because that's not what Mr T does but he uses his visor mirror to interact and most of the time we have to sing along to a Beatles CD, dance moves in their too. If you see us on our journey in Derby then you will know Mr T very well as he is a vibrant character while on the road and as passengers go not at all boring. I always think what the taxi drivers have thought in the last two years, they probably needed a bit of a lie down after their shift but I don't on mine. I love this time with my son, it's one time when we have 'our' time and in the world of autism sometimes that time is a bit lost so I'm grateful. Can you remember those Garfield characters you could get to stick on a car window that looked as if Garfield was slammed up against the window? Yep sometimes that's Mr T but sometimes he can be contemplating, no time for interaction unless it's to tell me to be more patient with other drivers. 'Everyone has to be patient these days my dear Babs' he will say to me, my nickname was Suzy Babs at one time. Someone said that my sense of humour reminded them of Barbara Windsor as I used to use so many innuendos in a conversation I was my own Carry On movie, so that's where that comes from. So I've been grateful for a taxi but I'm liking Mum's Taxi more and I think Mr T does too so a happy chappy. Thank you very much for reading......come back tomorrow for Pass the Remote Sunday but for now...... Take care. |
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