Following on from last week I thought I would just conclude the pasta saga. Well I got another message to say that Mr T would be tackling the pasta again this week. I said 'what?' but lovely cooking teacher you promised us chocolate cake this week. I was pleading for the cake as I wasn't loving the prospect of putting it to Mr T that it was pasta again especially after the last meltdown and refusal to cook.
The refusal to cook last time though meant he had to. try and finish off the pasta so we could tick it off and be done. I ventured into the unknown (Mr T's bedroom) and had a team talk, the way us parents do with our autistic kids. Nice and calm, ease into the conversation gently then any sign of meltdown withdraw immediately and not bother, then retract to living room with a brew to calm the nerves.....sound familiar?
Well team talk went well and he said he would try his best with the pasta as cool as anything so I retreated in shock, thinking this was going far too well. I went with it and sent the ingredients in with him and as sure as anything he came out of college with a nice tub of pasta salad. Yes my fellow Autistic brewsters, we have completed operation pasta and now we could move onto to chocolate cake. Yes!! (punches air), never been so pleased to see a finished pasta salad and a happy boy.
This week he got to bake a chocolate cake and he baked with gluten free flour so I could eat it (that was my idea). Mr T made the most gorgeous gluten free chocolate cake I have ever seen and tasted. I have been trying for ages to bake a decent sponge and he just comes home with this masterpiece. I couldn't stop raving about it and he started to look a bit smug. So he should, so proud of him for tackling everything again and allowing me to eat chocolate cake.
So it just goes to show that if something in our autistic minds is not going well and causing anxiety it may be that we need to shelve whatever it is and leave it for a while then come back to it. This may not always be possible for some people. I know I find things difficult to do one minute but then have to rethink a different way or just give it time and try again. We have to find that different way of processing things to ease the anxiety, allowing that precious time, how ever long it takes to allow us to cope.
A happy Mr T after all and I do have to say I did go to parents evening at his college and he is doing so well. I'm so proud of him, we celebrated by eating a little cake, just a little bit (honest).
Thank you for reading, I just thought after the anxiety we faced last week I needed to tell you that it all came right in the end. I will be back tomorrow with Pass the Remote Sunday but for now you all take care.
My son Mr T has been having a love hate thing with cheese pasta for the past few weeks. He is doing some catering at college as part of his course into independent living and getting on well with it all but we hit a road block which ended in a emergency stop this week.
The first week he attempted making cheese sauce he said that he had turned his butter into caramel while attempting a roux sauce. Nothing wrong with caramel with my pasta I thought, could be a new thing here. I love pasta and I love caramel, what you worrying about Mr T? Well he wasn't happy after that lesson, had to clean the pans - tough day that was.
Attempt two seem to go well and he came out of college with a lovely tub of cheese pasta, hurrah I thought. Why in the bad mood though Mr T, you've done it? Well he got in the car with said tub of pasta, a sandwich, crisps and a drink. Now just to explain he has lunch at college on a Monday, Tuesday and Friday and this was a Wednesday. Well they had given him a lunch by mistake at college and it sent him into a flutter. He would not speak to me or Mum and Dad from the Brew who were in the car too as we were all going out for lunch. It wasn't until we hid it all away that he could carry on with his day.
'Those silly people have given me a lunch and I don't have a lunch today from there' he said. He could just not cope at all with that but was fine when we took it away and hid it all. He then had lunch with us and everything was fine.
But then he had to make cheese pasta again and was so wound up about it he didn't tell me he needed the ingredients to take in to college until 10pm the previous evening. I struck up a deal with the tutor and he came home with another tub of pasta, all fine.
Get this though, he had to do it again the next week!! Now I had a parents evening to go to so this gave me a chance to find out why we were having to overdose on cheese pasta. Apparently he just needs to be assessed on the boiling part. Mr T had said he was bored with cheese pasta and wanted to cook something more exciting (cannot blame him, even I was bored with cheese pasta). We suggested he made a pasta salad, take away the cheese sauce and highlight the fact that when he has done this it's chocolate cake next week!! Woo hoo.
So I waited in anticipation to see what would become of Wednesday's practical.....would we get pasta again?..............(I so want to put 'to be continued' here)...................but.......................NO we didn't get any pasta and I don't think Mr T will want to cook pasta for a long time yet. He flatly refused, got in a mood and had to do something else.
I kind of admire his autism sometimes because he will just say no but I do feel for him as he tends to bottle all his feelings up and then explode. He isn't the greatest communicator unless it's a conversation about the facts about Disney, Thomas and Friends or Star Wars so we don't get far on general conversations. I do encourage him to tell me about his days at college and sometimes I get a little of what he has been doing but sometimes he'll say 'oh I don't know' when I ask and there is no pushing it any further.
I don't like to see him anxious so the pasta saga will have to be put on hold for now and return to it with lightsaber in hand ready to tackle an army of stormtroopers. I can't wait for that.. In fact Mr T would make mountains of pasta in that scenario. It's tough being autistic sometimes as processing the information required by other people and understanding why we have to keep cooking cheese pasta is difficult for some. For some people it's a case of understating that there is further assessment needed in a educational setting but for him especially, he has cooked it once why would he need to do it again? I have explained believe me but no, he's done with the old pasta.
I'll keep you posted on this one but thank you for reading, I will be back tomorrow with Pass the Remote but for now..........
You take care and don't mention the pasta!
Every Saturday will be about Autism, family and life.