I think sibling rivalry is quite normal and quite common in most families with or without Autism. When Autism is around though you kind of hope for friendship or a little kindness between your children......I suppose I do as a parent.
I will always feel protective towards my eldest with Autism and I'll love him and his Autism but I don't think his younger brother feels the same. He is not the most affectionate to his older brother and there is a lot of teasing and slightly hostile behaviour but I know he does care for him in his own way.
We've always talked about Thomas's Autism and discussed things so it's always been a topic of discussion within our household, of course it would do, it dominates your life really. Because of that and taking feelings into consideration that the younger sibling may feel left out of all this Autism stuff I made sure that Charlie had some one on one time to make him feel special too.
It's so difficult isn't it? I used to look at other children who were very supportive towards their autistic brothers or sisters and feel quite envious that that wasn't the case with my two. If we take away the Autism maybe it wouldn't be any different, maybe there would be rivalry anyway but I suppose we will never know. It's always in the back of my mind why? Maybe Charlie didn't get the brother he always imagined he would have but and that makes me sad. I always hoped they would be close but we can't guarantee that can we? It's funny though because if anyone says anything towards Thomas his brother will be the first to step in and want to know who said what. So it is there.....the love I just generally don't think he knows how to show it.
Maybe things will change, I would like to think it will. As a parent I will always worry about what will happen when I'm not here. In a perfect world I would hope Charlie would look out for his brother but at the same time I obviously want him to live his own life the way he wants to. That's a blog for another day I think.......the 'what happens later I life'. I'm not ready for that post yet.
Thee are some great resources out there to help siblings understand about Autism. There are also good sibling groups around where the siblings can meet together and share their experiences so they never have to feel that they are alone in Autism family.
If you would like information about some books which available about siblings and Autism you can find some great ones here at Jessica Kingsley Publishers www.jkp.com/uk/catalogsearch/result/?q=siblings+and+autism
Thank you for reading today. Join me again tomorrow for Pass the Remote.....take care for now.
Every Saturday will be about Autism, family and life.