Why do we judge so quickly?
That's what we should do if we don't understand isn't it? Hold your hand up and say " I don't understand could you explain'. Unfortunately a lot of us don't and make instant judgements on people which a lot of the time are not true.
It's a minefield in the world of autism and sometimes when it comes to making decisions your'e dammed if you do, dammed if you don't. In some instances there will always be someone ready to criticise. We've all done it at some point. Yes I have, I made a quick judgment on someones facebook status and didn't think how much my comments would have an impact on that person and I didn't spend anytime to understand their situation. Since that moment I have completely re thought about how I can deal with a situation and try and understand it more. It was a turning point and I wanted to change.
I recently read about the new changes to the blue badge application process, giving people with autism and mental health problems a right to be able to apply for one. Now I'll be honest and I'll probably me lynched for this but I struggled to think why? I had concerns that increasing the amount of people who could claim a badge would lead to people with more physical disabilities unable to park due to there being no spaces available. THEN when I visited my support groups I spoke to some people who have had use of the blue badges already and it opened my eyes really. For what would probably not be appropriate for us as a family doesn't mean it wouldn't have a massive impact for someone else.
So I've changed my views on so many things because I've stopped and listened first. I blame Facebook for a lot of misguided opinions as people put things out there and we instantly have an opinion, depending on our mood it may not always be the right one.
I don't mean to use corny phrases but life with autism is a rollercoaster full of ups and downs, twists and turns and it's a different ride every time as there are different people included. Some may be sick, some may be excited, some may just remain silent but vow never to do it again and that is life. I've had my moments where I've worried whether I've made the right decisions for my son, I've worked all of my life until taking a break for which I'm sure I''m judged heavily but looking back I don't regret a thing, I did what was right to help support my son as a single parent and we got through.
I'm now looking forward to getting myself back to where I was and possibly taking a plunge to something even more exciting but no one should criticise anyone for the choices they make. I meet so many people within my voluntary work who feel guilty for claiming benefits, for stopping work, for making the break from a relationship. I would say to these people, do what you feel inside is right and the rest will either understand, if they don't then they are not the people you need around you.
Let's join together and try and understand not fight against each other. The National Autistic Society have a motto that says 'until everyone understands' and I like that. I will carry supporting people until then, think we have a long way to go but hey things don't get done without a bit of a campaign and sheer determination.
There is a saying by Wayne Dyer which says:
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself
Something to consider.........
Thank you for reading today......join me tomorrow for Pass the Remote but for now take care.......
and be nice to each other xx
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Every Saturday will be about Autism, family and life.