I am no Masterchef....

That's something you will never catch me saying 'yes chef' 'no chef' '3 minutes chef'. I would be more likely to say:
'What Chef?' 'How many starters chef?' 'I cannot do any more chef' 
'make it yourself chef'.........

I am not a natural cooker (as my son calls a chef). I'm ok with that as well as I don't think I have any desire to be a chef or neither have I ever had the inclination. I manage to feed the three of us who live here but apart from that I would break out into a sweat if someone mentioned to me the word 'catering'. My buffet skills go as far as a freezer bag from the local Farm Foods and loaded with an oversized packed lunch, I think I call it a picnic, the kids probably call it an evacuation of the cupboards and fridge. It's also a sign to them we are going on a road trip. They can sniff the countryside, a picnic bench, baby wipes to wipe hands and a bin liner to clear up rubbish. So prepared. I was a girl guide you know!

How do they do it though, these contestants on Masterchef? It is always the timing that puts me off cooking. My beans have gone cold before I even buttered my toast and I never get garlic bread ready at the same time as pizza. I make a brew ok though, it's in my teapot and I have enough time to pop milk in a mug and my sweetener before pouring. I have left it and forgot about it being there or left a teabag in my mug just stewing away before I've realised it's all too late but I'm getting to a funny age. The only time I get hot in a kitchen is because I'm having a hot flush with my hormones on fire, not because my food is burning.

I am in awe of those people who can cook two or three courses on time and for their dishes to just look perfect. Massive respect for their patience and the fact they can just look at shelves of raw ingredients and work out what they are going to magic up and serve. I just don't process that. I have to work to a recipe and then I get impatient and start making my own rules up. I would totally panic in that professional kitchen scenario, I'd beg the chef to sack me and send me on my way or just send me to wash the dishes. The pressure looks immense, I mean these are top chefs with proper big reputations not a casual shift at Little Chef with a quick egg and chips to do (I'm excited as I think I could do that). This is posh poultry with a jus or a coulis and an added garnish of truffle. Dessert is served with a gateau, mousse or tarte au citron. In my house it's pudding and comes in the form of apple pie, crumple, tart or rice pud with a teaspoon of jam dropped in. 

What's all this making pasta and popping it through something that resembles a mangle? Did someone need to tell these people that you can buy spaghetti and most pasta's already prepared and ready to cook in about ten minutes? I get my flour out to make a cake (now I do like to bake) but I've never got it out to make pasta. 

I'm really just jealous, I'd love to make things from scratch. Since being with Slimming World I have got used to cooking a lot more fresh meals and spending time to do a bit more cooking than I did but it still has to be simple and easy to do. Maybe one day I will challenge myself more and cook kale and experiment with different ingredients. We should all do something outside of our comfort zones now and again. Do something that scares you apparently, an appearance on 'Come dine with Me' would do that for me. That is scary. 

So well done if you are a chef or someone who hosts fabulous dinner parties, I take my hat off to you. I will continue to watch Masterchef and when it comes to the final I will get on my knees and say 'I'm not worthy' in a Waynes World style, because frankly I'm not. Good luck to them all and may the best chef win. I will happily come and eat your winning food, now that's the part I like the most.

Thanks for reading, I will be back to recite poetry tomorrow with A Verse for Thursday.....take care now.