Yes it's approaching, that time in life, the next stage........Menopause!!!!
I'm definitely in the perimenopause stage and just waiting for graduation to the big 'M' level. Promotion to maturity I like to call it, I'm like a fine wine just waiting to mature enough to become vintage. I wish someone would tell my moods swings that, blimey I'm up and down with emotions I could design a whole new catalogue of emoji's just for the menopause.
I'm trying to look on the bright side and remain positive, that's when I can remember what I'm trying to be positive about. My memory at the moment is scaring me, or lack of it should I say. I have to write lists now for everything, not just for shopping but to put the bins out and other silly things that I should just remember. Alexa (the amazon echo dot device thing) has just lost her patience with me on my 'to do' list. I expect her to reply with 'really?' 'are you that stupid?' or 'you should really remember to feed your children', 'I am not reminding you to poo'. I even asked my friend, who is coming up to her wedding anniversary, how long she had been married......I went to the blooming wedding last year so how stupid did I feel?
Hot flushes just come on when you least expect, usually when I am in a meeting or talking to someone, could be right in the middle of one of my autism support group meetings. I'm trying to reassure a stressed out parent that things will be fine and I'm looking like I've been dragged out of hormonal sauna. I can feel it rising up from my tippy toes to my head and blush like mad, it's like someone turning my internal central heating on, wooooosh Just as I think I'm going to spontaneously combust my memory suddenly has no problem reminding me that I'm of a certain age and I've had it coming for years. I can hear my soul laughing at me, and saying 'ha ha, remember adolescence and pregnancy? Well you ain't seen nothing yet love!!'. It's ok I'm not really hearing voices, I've not gone completely mad, .....not yet anyway.
I don't like the heart palpitations and panic attacks. I have never had these before so when I experienced this for the first time I thought I was having a heart attack. I even got carted away in an ambulance whilst on the school run. I know! how embarrassing. Nice staff though at A&E, one particular who made my heart beat even faster, that didn't help! They tend to pop up unexpected, the panic attacks not dishy hospital staff unfortunately. There again I can be meeting with people and just feel like my heart is going to burst out of my body like something out of an Alien movie. Not a nice feeling at all but I've found some techniques to help relax, that and some good beta blockers to try if I just can't get into my calm place. My calm place, it's supposed to be taking nice breaths and focus but all I want to focus on is a the local pub garden and a pint of cider!! Hey if it helps the panicking it's all good.
And what has happened to my old bladder, yes ok I have had two children and the pelvic floor as never been the same since. I've tried all those exercises, the ones that they say you can do whilst catching a bus or doing your shopping. Trouble is my face follows my movements so when I clench and hold the pelvic floor, I also clench and hold my face which then makes me look like I'm entering a gurning contest. That goes down well in Tesco's I can assure you. Fluids just go straight through and I have to go as soon as I get the feeling, no holding on. I NEED THE TOILET NOW!!! When I go out I'm forever checking to see if there is a toilet close by and if I go out for a walk I have to think whether there is a public toilet on the way. If I programme a sat nav I don't take the scenic route and pin loads of local attractions on the way to my destination, I'm programming the quickest route with all the local amenities.
I'm not moaning by any means, it's part of life and I will just have to learn to embrace it. For some it's a time of life that is denied so I should just be thankful that I can hit the menopause and I am. If anyone is looking down on me though could I possibly roll into maturity with less sweaty bedsheets and a free supply of Tena lady would be fabulous! Sue from the Brew sponsored by Tena Lady! Sounds good.
Thanks for reading and please feel free to leave me a comment with your menopause stories. Don't scare me though I'm just a newbie.
Catch you tomorrow for a Verse for Thursday......
What to Buy Wednesday
From May 2020 I will be writing a poem about something I may have purchased or would like to purchase.