The Cafe Queue...

It's a mine field but for those who have a degree in navigation and planning it will come so easy.

On entry...if your a professional customer...
What you should do is find a seat first if you are with some else and leave them with your possessions, this should obviously be someone you trust and not any random person.....I find a good friend or relative works. Together you then spend as much time as you like planning what to have on menu, you will then fly through the queue and checkout like a ballerina in Swan Lake.......well that's the plan.

What really happens if your a novice......
You all enter the establishment, comment how lovely it is and announce the classic question 'what's everyone having then?' You all proceed to get a tray, just the one between 6 of you and make your way to the queue. The pressure is on now as no one has decided what to eat or drink and you have to keep moving. The people in front have followed the professional path, have everything organised and also use the relevant tray allowance.
The people behind you however are also professionals and are looking at you in disgust as to what the heck you are playing at and why you are even here spoiling their day. You see, they have been coming here every week and know the menu off by heart, they haven't even got to do the sitting down first part, they can skip that and they probably have their favourite table already reserved by telepathy. They wait, puff and pant, throw the odd tut in while in the meantime you have changed your mind on a full breakfast option and just go for the croissant and jam. Oh they've ran out of jam and have to wait for Doris who's been working at the said cafe for forty years, she's coming up to retirement so she ain't moving fast. We all love Doris though and she keeps people chatting while Sandra frantically punches your order into the till as she can see a bottle neck forming, it's not good.....Sandra will never get her break at this rate. 

You made it......
Finally after running back for more trays your order is complete, Sandra has gone on her break to smoke twenty cigarettes through anxiety and stress and Doris is stocking more jam. The pros behind you had to wait for a change of staff and for them to log onto the till which also ran out of till roll, they said 'forget the receipt' and stormed off to drink their cold camomile tea. 
But you did it! You can all refresh yourselves and relax. Well done! You are now familiar with the cafe and how it works. Next time will be easier but now all that needs to be decided is do I leave the aftermath on the table to be cleared or do I take it all away to one of those trolleys?......Oh decisions decisions.........the pro camomile drinkers will know just keep an eye on them.

Be good, and catch you tomorrow........

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