that the first person there is the ultimate champion, parking place secured and smug face intact.
that it might be wise to have a packed lunch ready to get ahead of above champion along with a book, ipad, a crossword and a change of clothes.
that it is just necessary to park as close to the school gates on a rainy day as possible, children cannot get wet in any situation.
that there is no way someone is jumping in your regular parking space, you will hunt them down and when you find them.....you will kill them.
that it is a written thing to park along a residents drive because in no way would they even think of going out or returning to their property at this busy time.
that in the event of turning up late, your child is in upper school and you have been parking in the same place for years so all other people need to vacate the area and let you park. You are after all parent royalty.
that when you have parked dangerously and in everyone's way your child is guaranteed to be the last one out of school.
that you are permitted to stick by all school run laws and in the event you do not, behold and wait for the death stare, bad language they don't teach in the school language department and sign language even people with hearing impairments don't know about.
that when you find that place where no one else was parking before, you own it, therefore accuse everyone who parks there that they have copied you and you will sue.
that you change tactics and turn up five minutes late, see your daughter holding hands with the schools ultimate bad boy and realise this is exactly why parents get there two hours early. Not happening, not on my shift!!
that on the last day of term before the summer holidays you punch the air it's all over for six weeks but spend that time, buying a wipeboard and plotting the strategy for parking again in September and showing the new starters parents who those parking spaces really belong to.
and that......finally when your young person finally leaves school you break out the streamers and balloons on their last day and hand your parking spot over, with delight and ease, knowing that you will never enter the neighbourhood again for as long as you live.
But we call it.......
THE SCHOOL RUN!!!!
catch ya tomorrow......
What to Buy Wednesday
From May 2020 I will be writing a poem about something I may have purchased or would like to purchase.