I spend half my time thinking ' What did I say that for?' or 'that just sounds silly'.
Those classic lines and phrases that question the world and what it's all about.
I find I'm saying them more and more and when living with someone with Autism it's not good, things can be taken quite literally and this can lead to much confusion with some phrases. Such as......
Blind as a Bat - Now as far as I know, and I am no nature expert, I believe bats have good vision, I've definitely not seen any bats with glasses or bumping into trees and things. I mean I don't actually see many to be honest but I've watched those nature programmes and a bit of David Attenborough and I would know if bats were blind. Dave would have told me.
Daft as a Brush - Brushes are not daft, they are genius's in their own right. Would you stick your head down a toilet if pushed? No you wouldn't, they do a good job and we should respect the brush!! Paint brushes are fabulous and very artistic whether it's creating a masterpiece or decorating......there is no daftness there.
Faff About - love the word 'faff'. It means to dither or fuss. Everyone faff's at some point. Next time you get a bit of road rage, instead of swearing and using abusive language try saying 'what ya faffing about at? it doesn't have the same effect but you'll feel better I promise.
Make a Clean Breast of It - to make a full disclosure, to confess and start again. That's the sensible meaning but making a clean breast of it for me is brushing the crumbs from my chest when I've eaten a biscuit. sweep away, hey presto......clean breasts!!!
The Bee's Knees - why??? Bees don't have knees so why would you say someone or something is the bees knees if bees knees don't exist. That's just daft. How many bees have you seen with knees? They would look really funny kneeling down on the job, extracting the pollen. You would get old bees buying knee pads or bees using the cushions in churches to pray on......that's just silly now.
Shit for Brains - oh excuse my language! Love this though, it's so much funnier than calling someone stupid. I have shit for brains sometimes when I walk into a room and can't remember what I went in for. Great phrase and actually does make me giggle everytime I say it.
Happy as Larry - who the heck is Larry? He must be a happy chappy that's all I can say, I like Larry.
A little Bird told me - excuse me? what bird told you what? Birds don't talk do they? It's that secret that someone told you and the messenger of that secret suddenly takes on the form of a bird or maybe it's google in the form of a parrot. Forget Alexa, unless you consider Alexa to be 'your bird' as in your woman.....then you can say a little bird told me.
Cool as a Cucumber - It's ok, I'm feeling fine, I'm as cool as a cucumber. Cucumbers kept in fridge are very cool and great in a salad so great phrase. Cucumbers rule and are cool. A hot cucumber just wouldn't be right would it? Doesn't have the same ring to it either.
A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss - is someone who doesn't settle in one place for very long. No wonder Mick Jagger still looks good and is still going well. He probably doesn't stay still long enough to gather any moss. If any of the Rolling Stones start looking a bit fluffy and a. bit green then just move them around a bit.
Ten of my favourite phrases, still leave me wondering why we say them and tend to create funny looks from my children when I use them. It's good fun using the English language sometimes. We all have our favourite sayings....what's yours? Leave a comment if you fancy sharing.
Thanks for reading, catch you tomorrow.
What to Buy Wednesday
From May 2020 I will be writing a poem about something I may have purchased or would like to purchase.