Christmas crackers are really ace
a free gift, a hat and a joke you just can't erase
You always get one that refuses to crack
Granny will say 'it's faulty, save it and take it back'

This is the fun at the Christmas table 
too many sprouts for our Auntie Mabel
She lets out a fart they can hear down the street
then looks round to blame me, I go red and blame the heat

I wonder if Meghan Markle's Christmas went well
her first at the Royal table, bet she was nervous as hell
Stay off the sprouts Meg and look so serene
you don't want to be farting right next to the Queen

After the dinner when all the wind has passed
everyone is safe and no one's been gassed
It's time for a mince pie or an After Eight Mint
a nap may be needed to get out of the dishwashing stint

This is the time when a dishwasher is handy
unless you can bribe a family member with plenty of brandy
Dad will always get his rubber gloves on
Mum shouts 'have you enough Fairy Liquid in that bowl there John?'

It's one of the funniest family times of the year
When peace is amongst us with tips and festive cheer
We can all fall out for the rest of the time 
but when Christmas comes around it would be seen as a crime

So for all it's traditions, laughs and meanings
Harry Potter goes around for it's millionth screening
Don't just crack a cracker but also a smile
love each other, go on go that extra mile


​❉
Thank you for reading on my last verse for 2017 
pop back tomorrow for Free from Friday
but for now......

Take care

It's coming up to that time of year
all that fuss and Christmas cheer
When everyone on the planet goes to shop
usually at the same time - oh it's all non stop

We stock pile all the Christmas food
if you need to go to Tesco's then you're totally screwed
Anyone would think it was the end of the world
packets of sprouts just waiting to be hurled

People will flock to a Christmas market
the ground so soggy for a car - you'll never park it
Good though for a bargain or maybe more
drinking mulled wine like never before

I buy my pressies online
it's a revolution and totally sublime
No hassle or all that retail fuss
save on petrol, parking and the bus

All I've got to think about now is when to trim the tree
I'll debate it over a cup of tea
This weekend or next I don't suppose it will matter
as long as the kids are with me to laugh and have a natter

I'm excited for the advent calendar to start
I'm not missing out on this crucial part
A chocolate to be eaten everyday
Someone needs a medal for that invention I say

However you spend your time make it fun
watch movies, sing carols, wrap pressies and you've won
Send Seasons Greetings and have no fear
that you all have a
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year



Thanks for reading today,
please come back tomorrow for Free From Friday

Take care for now.